14 Tips to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a large part in the success or failure of our relationships. Therefore, spending time to develop our emotional intelligence skills is a valuable venture. Incorporating all these new skills at once can be overwhelming, so I suggest choosing one that you think could make an impact, and start to implement it for a week. From there, choose the next one, and so on.

Each tip will help you to grow in self-awareness, self-management and social awareness, helping you to develop a stronger relationship with yourself and others through improved emotional intelligence.

Tips to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Stop judging feeling as good or bad. If you tell yourself that you “should” or “shouldn’t” feel a certain way, that is judging it. Instead, just let the emotion run its course.

Notice the effects of your emotions. Our emotions have an impact on those around us, so take a moment to reflect on how others feel when your emotions are loosed.

Discover your body clues. Our bodies store emotions physically; shame or anger may show up as red cheeks; fear as cold hands. Take time to notice what triggers your body uses to express emotion, as this will help you identify them better.

Identify your ‘buttons’. Some call them pet peeves, but they are things that irk us and often cause us to quickly escalate in emotion. Identify these triggers and when you are more vulnerable to them, such as when you are tired. This identification can help you overcome them.

Stay in the moment. When we decide we are “having a bad day”, we tend to let that cloud everything that happens, rather than seeing it in the moment. Choose your mood as often as it needs an adjustment.

Breathe. We have a bad habit of taking shallow breaths throughout the day. Take breath breaks to really get full, oxygenated lungs with a few slow, deep breaths.

Balance emotion and reason. When faced with a decision, try drawing a line down the center of a paper and list emotions on one side and reason on the other. This increases awareness and helps you find balance.

Count. Some times we react too soon with an emotional response we can’t take back. Take time to count and breath and you’ll notice a difference in your response.

Smile and laugh. Smiling and nodding your head ‘yes’, as well as laughing have shown to have a positive physiological brain response. Send happy signals to your brain when you are feeling a drop in your emotional state.

Check your self-talk. Our negative self-talk can really take us out. Recognize when you are saying terrible things to yourself and switch them around to something more positive.

Pay attention to other’s body language. People ‘say’ a lot through their posture, eyes, hand gestures and facial expressions. Start to pay attention to how people communicate non-verbally.

Remove distractions. When building relationships, it’s important to not tune out the world with the distractions so readily available to us such as technology and mind chatter. Focus on others and really try to connect with them.

Ground yourself. When your mind seems to be preoccupied with the past, or focused on the future, take time to bring your mind back to the present. Try meditation, yoga or using your senses to notice your current surroundings and get grounded.

Add diversity to your life. Other cultures and perspectives can enrich our lives. Learn about others with different experiences than you and begin to treat others as they would like to be treated.

I hope you have found this information helpful. Using these strategies can make a big improvement to increasing your emotional intelligence and improving your relationships. If you feel you need more information, I would be happy to help you further, simply contact me.

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